May 2023
This is the first weekend my ex has been gone on “his” weekend. I offered to trade weekends and such, but nope. So my ex in-laws are on the job. There’s three soccer events, a dance performance, and my son’s birthday. Needless to say my anxiety is through the roof. My ex in laws are not super mobile and haven’t EVER been with the kids alone to care for them, so this is just a lot. I decided to take the positive approach and start the weekend with a check in text to the ex in-laws. Just a good morning, hope you had a nice first night with the kids, I’m around if you need any help sort of text. Crickets. Nothing. Then a few hours later my son, who has Type 1 Diabetes, has an “urgent low” (I can see his blood sugar numbers via an app 24/7), so I send another text asking them to check in on him and make sure he’s OK. Once again, crickets. I was pissed at the first no-response, but I am full of rage with this second one. This is my kids health, something that could be a life or death situation. Fast forward 5 hours and I finally get a response. “He had snacks he’s fine. And we won’t be at the dance performance in the morning, it’s too early (9am).” WTF??? On SO many levels!!!!
Backstory….my in laws (now ex) have been to ZERO dance performances or shows EVER in the history of my girls’ dance. Yes, they live three hours away so I’ve always not made a big deal of it. But you’re 1 mile away from the church, with your youngest grand daughter performing a sacred dance routine at church, which will take all of 5 minutes, and you can’t make the time to get there? This is beyond me, and I can’t even. The rage was really overwhelming, and I wanted to scream at them, but I responded in a text that my daughter is only dancing (it was optional) because she thought her grandparents would finally get to see her dance, and she feels so proud to show you her talents.” Something very similar to that. Shockingly I got more crickets. My thought was “OK, now they know just how much it means to her so for sure they will come watch,”, but nope. They didn’t. I was so sad for her.
But then I decided to switch to gratitude mode. How lucky is my daughter that her other grandma will get up super early, drive 2 hours to come see her 9am performance, and take her out to Starbuck’s after? We are so lucky that my parents CONSISTENTLY show up for all of the kids’ activities, and there are 8 grandkids in ALL the sports and activities, and my mom goes to almost everything. Those 8 grandkids are fucking lucky. They are so loved. and so cherished. I am grateful Mallorie gets to be a part of THAT. She is one lucky lady. We will just let the rest of that shit go….